How long does it take to form a habit? The only real answer is it varies. It took around 2 months, but I've gotten used to having a kid around, in fact it's the new normal.
Every weekday I go to work from 9am to 5:30pm and then I come home for daddy duty till midnight. Sometimes Carol is happy to help and sometimes Henry has been difficult and she hands him to me and says something like, "take him before I do something I'll regret." For weeks daddy duty seemed like a second job and I'd honestly questioned whether I should have become a father. I think about these blog posts all month and for a long time this one was called "No One Ever Warns You About This." No one ever warns you about how you can get more sleep than you used to before kids, but still feel exhausted everyday. No one ever warns you that there is no longer any time for the hobbies you loved so much before having kids.
Sometimes it feels like all I've done for two months is watch TV and play Skyrim while rocking the kid's bouncy chair. However, there is hope one of these days we'll move the computer out of the nursery and into the living room so I can use it when Henry goes to bed.
To me the most difficult thing is not knowing what kind of a night I'm coming home to. Will tonight be "Happy Henry" or "Chuthlu the Terrible"? Will Carol me in a great mood or absolutely miserable? The other night before bed Carol was talking about giving me a "night off" because I'd done something nice for her. She said the same thing the next morning. All day I thought about what I'd do when I got home, which was nice since it was a particularly stressful day at work. But when I got home, Carol had had an awful day with Henry and having the "night off" was no longer on the table.
The funny thing is the next night Carol tried to give me the night off, but I didn't take it. Henry was being too cute and I didn't want to miss anything.
Henry's first day of Nursery School
Here is a video of Henry trying to talk to my sister. He tries to talk like this all the time. He's only two months old, I think he might be a genius!
You're a good dad. This is real. The other stuff is only a substitute for this kind of realness. I regret never having a kid, but then Susan and I were always too selfish.
ReplyDeleteYup. This is real life. But you'll turn around tomorrow and Henry will be going to college, and you'll wonder where the time went.
ReplyDeleteI think you'll be amazed at how quickly kids grow, John. But it will all be good. And yes, you seem like a very good dad. Henry is lucky.